on being content where you are.

I went to a yoga class recently (hi, yoga, it’s been a few years) and in the class the instructor was talking about how we all are exactly where we are supposed to be right now. She said something eloquent about how the present moment, not the past or the future, is the most important. It got me thinking a lot about how lately, I’ve been feeling this yearning for the future to get here already or for the ability to change the past, and I’ve been allowing that to make me unhappy where I am right now.

I’m in my last week of nursing school, and a year ago I thought I would be so happy in this moment, to have made it to the end of this program. Instead, I’m feeling a myriad of emotions – from still feeling “behind” in life, frustrated at my lack of income and ability to do things like takeย  international trips like some of my classmates are doing, wishing to be able to just slow down and enjoy regular weekends with my boyfriend when life has been so chaotic lately… the list goes on.

I know most people will tell me that I am not “behind” in life at all – that spending an extra 1.5 years getting a degree that equips me to do a job I am actually excited about does not make me “behind” at 23 years old – but it doesn’t stop me from feeling that way. I can’t help but think that if I had figured things out a little earlier, by now, I’d have saved enough money to take a trip to places that I’ve always wanted to go. That by now, I wouldn’t be using birthday money to put gas in my car, or that I wouldn’t be in such debt to my family for everything that they have done for me.

It’s one thing to know that this all happened this way for a reason and that this season of life is probably teaching me some really cool things, but it’s another to accept that and just be here. To know that these moments have been building my character and will make me appreciate so much more later down the road. To know these things and to feel them and be grateful for them doesn’t always go hand in hand.

I don’t think that this time in my life is the only time I’m going to struggle to stay present. I almost think that this is an ongoing struggle no matter where you are – sometimes it’s just easier than other times. And right now is one of those times where I am everywhere but here. I also don’t think that all of these ‘in between’ feelings are going anywhere anytime soon, and that’s okay. Going to yoga has been a great reminder to me that wishing for change in the past or yearning for things to come in the future is only going to do one thing: make me unhappy with where I am now.

I’d like to spend more of my time focused on the present than anywhere else. Some things that help me to do that:

  • working out or going to yoga
  • spending time outside, even if it’s just for a short walk
  • trying new food or coffee
  • closing my eyes and taking deep breaths for a few seconds

If you have any suggestions of reminders to stay content in the present moment – I’d love to hear them! โค

P.S. Happy to be back in the blogosphere. It’s been awhile ๐Ÿ™‚

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back to banannas

Hi friends!

While I’d really like to start this post off by saying that I wish that I’d been blogging in this space more… that wouldn’t be all that truthful. If we are being honest, I’ve really been enjoying just living my life and savoring the moment instead of capturing so much of it on camera and sharing it on the internet.

Don’t get me wrong, I love writing, but I’ve been feeling a little lost in the blog world ever since my old blog domain expired back in February. There were six years of my life chronicled there and I made a bit of a rash decision to essentially let all of that disappear. It felt like a little bit of my identity was gone all of the sudden. That combined with me not currently teaching fitness classes, and somehow feeling less valid in sharing my knowledge in fitness, made me feel lost in the world of blogging. I changed my Instagram handle and my blog name on a whim and recently in the last couple months have just been feeling like that didn’t fit me well at all. It didn’t feel like part of my personality and for that reason I recently changed everything back to good ‘ol julibananna, where it all started.

This past year has been one of the most transformative that I’ve ever experienced. A lot in my identity has changed. I stopped teaching fitness classes because I was burnt out and because I was worried that I wouldn’t be able to keep it all up with school and retain my sanity. I became a nursing student. I pretty much stopped blogging all together because it wasn’t a priority anymore. I moved across the country and away from so many good friends and my family. I went through a breakup and started dating again for the first time in a long time. I started meeting amazing people here and making Atlanta a home.

That’s the beauty of your twenties. Things are fluid and ever changing and we’re all figuring out who we are as people. And when we realize that something doesn’t fit us anymore it’s okay to admit that and not cling to it.

I’m not really sure where all this is going but I am happy to be back to my roots again. Same ‘ol blog name, same Instagram handle, maybe a bit of a different woman behind it all. Excited to continue sharing this journey with y’all, through good food, fitness, and some nursing school shenanigans sprinkled in.

Thanks for sticking with me through thick and thin. Means the world to me โค

-Julianna

 

vote for the letter project!

Hey beautiful people!

It’s been awhile since I’ve popped in, but I wanted to take a second to ask you a favor today.

The Letter Project, a project I’ve been a part of for a few months now, is one of the KIND causes of the month. We write letters to girls and women all over the world who need a little encouragement.ย Whoever gets the most votes will get $10k donated to their cause, and I know that this project could more than use that!

You can vote HEREย – thank you so much in advance โค

Being a writer for this project has been amazing and writing letters to other girls is just as much of a reminder to myself as it is to them that we are enough just as we are. If you know a girl who could use a little encouragement right now, you can submit a letter request here. And if this sounds like something you’d like to be a part of, we could always use more letter writers! There is no minimum requirement for how often you have to write – you can send as little or as many letters as you want. Each letter makes a difference.

Thank you so much again! I’ll be back soon with some more posts!

xo

Julianna